Let me just set the tone by telling you that this afternoon, my wife told me to “go to hell”… This is my brush with her wish… i’d better not piss her off again, otherwise I might actually end up there!

I don’t believe it. I’ve finally lost the plot. I was cycling down Princess Street. There where two buses parked up, one very illegally (but do we say anything to bus drivers?) forcing me to pull out to the third lane of a three lane road. Example of bus parked here:

Stupid Arriva Driver

Stupid Arriva Driver

I checked over my shoulder to make sure there where no cars coming – there was, but he slowed down for me, and then both buses started moving. I let the first bus go, and signalled to pull in to the second driver which he let me do. I then saw a very slow cyclist about 100ft in front, so I checked over my shoulder – all clear, and pulled out to overtake him. As I pulled out, I heard this very crappy horn sound, so didn’t realise it was for me until the bus got right up to me and shaved me at around 30mph… (This is from setting off from a stationary position, with another bus stop not too far in front). As far as I was aware, I was cycling on the thick white line of the cycle lane to overtake too – so wasn’t even, in effect, in his lane.

I screamed that he was a fucking dickhead to which, he found the time to indicate and pull over.. I mean – the path was clear when I signalled and pulled out, and he couldn’t slow down for me then, but when someone screams that they are a dickhead they can slow down.

Anyway, he pulled over and stopped and opened his window… I had a go at him saying that he could have slowed down rather than beep his horn and put his foot down (he probably could have indicated and pulled into the 2nd or third lane too, but who am I to tell drivers what to do – I ride a bike).

“Don’t you call me a dickhead”
“Your a fucking dickhead mate – you could have slowed down”
“You should have been in the cycle lane – its for cycles”
“I was overtaking – you should have been aware of that” [I had checked it was clear before I moved out]
“You should be using cycle lanes and nothing else as you don’t pay road tax” [????]
“You nob. I have a fucking car at home”
“Next time I won’t beep me horn and just run you off your bike”
“What??”
“Next time I’ll knock you off your bike”
“And what do you tell my little 3 year old daughter”
“I’ll knock you off your bike”

That was it – I completely lost the plot. I couldn’t quite reach his face to smash it to pieces, but I tried in vain to smash his window with a right hook. Now, I’m not a violent person and very very rarely get to the point where I really want to kill someone, but I completely lost it. It completely put me off my rhythm, and to be honest, its shaken me up a bit and put me off cycling :(

After I’d punched his window I called him a cunt and cycled off. He then set off again, pulled into the 2nd lane [????] opened his doors and said:

“There’s CCTV on this bus. When I get back to the station I’m going to download it. Its a shame that you haven’t got a registration plate” and then closed his doors and drove on his merry way.

Now as far as I was aware, it was clear behind as I checked. Also, I can’t be aware of things in front, to the side and at the back of me every second of every journey, otherwise I think I’d be in some wierdo show in the deep south of America. I also know that I shouldn’t of tried to smash his window – but I felt threatened and a little scared to be honest – being told that next time he’s gonna knock me off my bike.

It is an awful shame that I haven’t actually got my camera set up on my bike, because I would have liked to have reviewed the footage to see what I did wrong (if anything).

Anyway, I carried on up onto Upper Brook Street, and took my usual left towards Apollo Roundabout, merrily cycling along, when this van shot past me, yanked to the left and slammed his brakes on (again, this is in a cycle lane) and I had to emergency stop. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

Had I stopped to have a go at this person, I probably would have been in a prison cell now, and not at home writing this. And at this point, I don’t think I’m gonna cycle in tomorrow :(

Overtakes: 3
Denton RLJers: 6
Incidents: 2